The win-win Strategy

The win-win strategy was the term I often used to hear in corporate meetings and other business places and as the word suggests it simply means winning for the both parties involved in the deal which is pretty straight forward and self-explanatory. What I never heard of was below five other strategies :
  • Win
  • Lose
  • Win-lose
  • Lose-win
  • Lose-lose
So there is basically 6 type of strategies that are possible in a deal and it was an eye opener for me to understand the nature of the people behind this different kind of deals.

In our daily life too every time we converse with the other person, we go through any one of the strategy mentioned above. I got to know, how courage and empathy plays a very important role in a win-win strategy from the book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change”.

A person with low self-respect will never accomplish a win-win deal and probably would lose in his deals every time likewise, a person running low on empathy and respect for the other person would only think about his win and so on.

The reason why so many marriages fail is because the people involved don’t think win-win, it’s that simple. With that said it’s not easy to play win-win every time and it requires a lot of effort to do so.

To let the other person win we have to see things from his point of view which is a difficult thing to do and we normally don’t care too much about the other person which leads to conflict in a long run.

John Green’s Commencement Speech 2013

Before going to the office today, I watched John Green’s commencement speech, 2013 at Butler University. John Green started his journey as a YouTuber in 2007. He is the author of best-selling novels, Paper Towns and The Fault in our Stars(also featured in Hollywood movies). He was also included in Time magazine’s list of “The 100 Most Influential People in the World” in 2014.
I am his big fan.
We look at life as a journey from weakness to strength, meaning the hero starts with nothing and ends up with everything.
All our heroes have this characteristic in common, from Harry Potter to Steve Jobs. They all have started as a nobody and ended up as a somebody.
In his speech, he shared a different side of the story. He said, that the true hero’s journey is from strength to weakness.
CaptureIn college life, we used to be somebody, people knew our names, we were famous. The moment we entered into the adulthood, some call it the real life, we became nobody. In real life nobody knows our name, we are not famous.
The journey from being a somebody from college to a nobody in real life, that’s the true hero’s journey.
“For learning how to be a nobody, you will learn how not to be a jerk, and for the rest of your life if you are able to remember your hero’s journey from college grad to underling, you will be less of a jerk, you will tip well, you will empathize, you will be a mentor and a generous one”, he shared.
He reminded the graduates, of all the support they have got from their parents, mentors, and professors and how their sacrifices made it all possible for them to graduate.
I listened to his speech for a couple of times and every time I remember those people who helped me in my journey, the heart is filled with gratitude. How often we have forgotten the true heroes of life, people who actually helped us reach where ever we are in our life. They made sacrifices so often and still we don’t remember them.
He gave an amazing speech, I felt nostalgic, motivated and at peace, all at the same time while listening to it. It looks like I am exaggerating the speech but believe me, I am not.
I encourage you to watch his commencement speech and share your learning too.

Feeling Nostalgic ..!

I started blogging in my college days, blogging was really cool at that time. A very few people in my college were into this and I really wanted to be one of those people.
Thankfully one of my very good friend Biplob, helped me in getting started in blogging. I still remember that moment vividly, it was around 2 o’clock in the morning when I published my first post.

Surprisingly, I got lot of traffic and I was very excited.

In my college days I was very restless in nature and this caused much chaos in my early life. I almost tried all the technologies available at that time for blogging to get the perfect website (I was really obsessed with the word perfection) and it was really fun.

However at that time I never got to know the spirit of blogging and the inner peace that it has brought into my life as of now.

My thought process was that somehow I would crack the Google page ranking system and be the number one. I had heard many stories like that in those days. Although I never knew anyone personally but the basic thought process was to take the shortcut.

I know it sounds very naive but that’s how we think when we are in college and that is why it’s very important to have a direction, a goal and someone to guide.

I learned this lesson the hard way, that there are no shortcuts to success in any endeavor of life with no exceptions.

I am feeling nostalgic today, as I have registered my domain name and have also purchased the yearly plan on WordPress (which I promised to myself that I would do only after 100 posts), and from today onwards you would be getting my posts starting with link address.

Thank you so much for the all the support and for motivating me to write everyday.


An Experience On Helping Others

We grew up with certain beliefs, these are the ones which we have adopted from the people who were around us when we were small, from our parents, school teacher and cousins.

Our conscious mind takes shape during the childhood, and this is the reason why we have different mindsets among different class of people, for example a businessman’s family would have a different set of principle than a farmer’s family.

The beliefs that we have right now are, the ones which we have hold on to since childhood and the ones which he have adopted along the way. We also have discarded some of the beliefs from the past.


Let me share one of the belief that I had in the past and thankfully I have discarded it.

In my school days I use to live with my cousin, he was of very helpful nature. He helped everyone, but I then something really bad happened with him he was very hurt and was shattered by the experience. He helped somebody who then took advantage of the help and did something evil(I remember like this only).

After that incident he stopped helping anybody. Since we were living together and he was my hero I took this lesson by heart and I started believing in it too.

I seldom remember helping my friends with sharing my notes in my school days.  In my college life also I have helped a very few people.

After completing my college education and entering the corporate world, a series of events happened to me which changed my belief system on helping others completely.

The first book that I read on helping others was “The Go-Giver: A Little Story About a Powerful Business Idea”  an amazing book by Bob Burg & John David Mann. Now sometimes I think if I would be given a chance of going back in time and help my friends whom I didn’t help in the past, I would do that. It’s like now I know the secret behind helping other people.

After crossing some age and exploring the world with our own eyes, we start to develop our own belief system and then things start to change and it’s beautiful.


How To Never Fail In Life

The short answer is never try…!!

Because where there is a try there is a chance of success and failure.

In my college days I tried to have a technical and informational website, I continued running my website for about 6 months but then I lost interest in it.
It was (do not follow the link, it is not working now) nice name isn’t.!

I failed in it.

I tried to have a Facebook page with the same name and was gunning for a million followers.
Well, I still have that page and it has about 300+ followers.
At that time there was no such thing as promoting a page and everyone had a equal opportunity to get to the audience, but then they started changing the polices and I left behind.
My page still have 300+ followers and now that I have started doing things on the internet I post it there regularly. But I consider it as a failure since I could not achieved my goal within the time frame that I had set for myself.

In my college days we use to copy the previous examination question papers from a photo copier. I thought of making a website for the same and I created a little website which had all the previous papers, I scanned all the papers and uploaded it there. Nobody came to download or visit the website. I guess nobody knew that there was a website and I was too chicken to publicize so only a very few friends knew about it and some of them thought that it was not a good idea.

So it failed miserably.

Among many other adventures, these are the ones which are very public in nature. I believe the reason for almost all of the failures directly or indirectly were that I got affected by the feedback and ridicule from my friends almost every time. I remember all those moments vividly.

I still am trying many things and I don’t know if I would be successful or not. But I know one thing for sure and that is, as long as I try there’s a chance.

I hate failing because it hurts, but between not trying and failing I choose failing.


Competition Vs Learning

We are programmed to compete in every situation of life.

Remember the time when a random person tries to overtake you and your ego comes in the way and you beat him and feel good about it.
That’s competition programming that we had since childhood.

Let me share a story.

I had many friends at college who were way more smarter than me. They helped me a lot and I learned many things from them. But there was a teeny tiny part of me who always wanted to excel and deep down I wanted to become smarter than them.
Well, 4 years passed in a blink of an eye and I excelled some of them but only in studies.

On the other hand, there were many other friends who just didn’t care about the competition and they were always relaxed in those days and I never understood them during my college life. Now when I think about it and I realize that they really had a wonderful time in college, while I was busy in my little competition.
Life is much more than competition.

Competition sucks the joy out the process.
If I would have focused less on competition and more on learning I would have learned much more than I do now.

We should always focus more on learning, because we all have forgotten about the competition and the learning is what we still have right now.


My First Clue At Sucking..!

A picture says a thousands words, let me tell you how..!

one of my friends saw a picture of mine which was highlighted on Facebook from its “see your memories”  feature.

She asked with an exclamation mark, (not in a good way) , “was this really you..!?” , looking at one of my pictures taken 3 years back. I looked really cool and confident in that pic.


I sensed the tone and immediately got the message,and it was one of those messages that I needed badly at that time. I said nothing, since I was asking the same question to myself everyday. I guess I needed someone else to ask that question to me.

I still remember her words crystal clear and it got me into thinking,

What have I become?
Why am I so helpless and full of frustration?

I tell you that the feeling of helplessness is one if the worst feelings in the world , and i felt helpless and miserable for most of the time during that time.

It was a realization that I have to change and I have to get better than my previous self everyday.

This was really gradual and I got help from everywhere, and I started finding learning from everywhere and now when I think about it I have a really great experience and I believe that life is all about the experiences we had.

Nobody wants to drink mango juice at the beach for the rest of their life, but then everyone wants to have an experience of it at least once.


Being Child Is Awesome

They were too busy playing kancha(an Indian sports that can be played anywhere), and there was no light in Shaheen bagh so I thought it would be fun to know how they play it. They were so into the game that I became curious to know how it works.

So I asked one of them, How is it played?


one of them explained to me giving very little attention to me and then again get back to playing.

Me: “what happens if you win?”

Samad: “Maza aata hai” (we feel joy)…!

Me: ” what you do once you win?”

Samad: “Phir khelte hain” (We play again)...!

Then it suddenly hit me,the real joy is in doing the things we like to do and then doing it again and again. It’s so simple, and it was always simple.

It’s very depressing that we have forgotten the simplest virtues of all,  which were already there in our childhood. They are so happy because, they love what they do and they do it again and again.

Being child is awesome, being curious about almost everything and so sometimes annoyingly happy for no reason.

Thank you,



Why We Should Ship Our Ideas.!

If you have used a MacBook you must be amazed by the dock magnifier. Here is the story of how it came into existence.
The guy who created it was not an Apple employee at first. He developed the application and then started visiting Apple Cupertino office to show it to the guys at Apple.
Since it was really awesome, everybody loved it and he finally reached to a point where he had to show it to Steve Jobs.

Steve had a very bad reputation of looking at somebody’s work and declaring it either shit or awesome.


This guy was scared of Jobs because of all the things he had heard about him and was deciding not to show it to him and go home, somehow he managed to overcome his fear and showed it to Jobs.

Jobs loved the idea and immediately implemented the feature to the upcoming MacBook . He said there was something missing in the macbook and this is it. This feature is in the MacBook since then.

While it was really a motivating story, I learned that it’s very important to ship our ideas and publish our work, it’s only after that, we would know it’s true potential.
We all have great ideas every now and then but we don’t act upon it. Getting an idea to build something is just the beginning of the process.

Thank you,

Book Learning: Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson: Why We Should Focus

I am learning so much from the book Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson, chairman and CEO of Cable News Network (CNN) and the Managing Editor of Time. In the book Walter has mentioned that Steve’s biggest strength was knowing how to focus.

Upon his return to Apple in 1997 he did so many revolutionary changes that we could not comprehend. Some of them are: completely changing all the board members of the company, shutting down 90% of the projects that was going on at that time and many other changes like that.

stevejobsIt’s true that Apple was on the verge of bankruptcy, and everything somehow look Okay if we see from now. But it was real chaos  at that time, he fired almost 3000 employees and that too with 2 weeks notice only. In the book it has been mentioned very well on how the things were at that time, and it was really horrible.

While everyone was happy to see Steve return to Apple but, a very few people liked Steve as a person because of his nature and personality. Doing these unholy things in the company and that too with a very little support from the people around you is pretty big. It’s like you know people are going to hate you for doing that and you still have to do it because of a bigger purpose.

I remember many times I have been demoralized by my close ones as not to do something and I have not considered it for the sake of them.

We get demoralized by people around us and we feel sad if not supported by our close ones, we should learn this virtue from Steve. It’s not about right or wrong, because being right or wrong is just a matter of perspective and it’s more about what we believe into. It was because he was able to see a picture which other people around him could not see and he didn’t care and he went ahead with his decisions anyways.

Steve was so focused on what he believed in that nobody could shake him, he was in deep trouble because of many other traits that he had, but this was one those which helped him to rise to the top again.

In one of the meetings Steve mentioned “Deciding what not to do is as important as deciding what to do”.

Thank you,