The Emotional Bank Account

emotional-intelligence
https://coachfederation.org

In the book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change” by Stephen Covey, the author, beautifully explains the amount of trust that exists in a relationship through the metaphor called “Emotional Bank Account(EBA)”.

We think humans are logic driven but that’s not true instead we are emotion driven. Whenever we meet someone we open an Emotional Bank Account with the other person and whatever we do we either make a deposit or a withdrawal from the account.

Kindness, courtesy, keeping promises, clarifying expectations, are the ways to deposit in the Emotional Bank Account. Being rude, breaking promises, arrogance, judging are some ways to withdraw from the Emotional Bank Account. If you have a positive balance in the EBA the relationship would sustain and last longer on the hand if you withdraw too much without making deposits at the regular intervals the relationship would not sustain and fail miserably.

Trust is developed when the Emotional Bank Balance is high.

Advertisements

Who Killed the Goose That Laid The Golden Eggs?

P-PC Balance stands for “Production – Production Capability” Balance, a term which I got to know after reading the book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change“.

We all have heard of “The goose that laid the golden egg” story, where the man gets a golden egg every day from the goose. In this story the egg is Production and the goose is Production Capability. Well, we know what happened in the end of the story and that is exactly what happens in the real life scenarios too. It’s funny how we have forgotten the lesson we have learned from the story and seldom implement it in the real life.

gooose
http://www.mortgagecompliancemagazine.com/featured/killed-goose-laid-golden-eggs/

The author talks about taking care of “Production Capability” and shares by various examples on how often we neglect the goose in real life. Taking time out to nurture the relationship is an activity that enhances “Production Capability” whether it is business or personal life it always does.

In any organization, we all know what Production is and all of our focus and energy is in Production but the organizations really thrive only after taking care of its “Production Capability” which is the people who are working there and that is achieved only by building a great relationship with the people who are working together.

Synergy at Workplace

 

Synergy is the word we often hear in the corporate meetings but seldom we experience it in the office environment. In the book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change” the sixth habit is synergy and the author has explained how synergy works by many examples from the daily lives of various people.

In the book the author explains that often people misunderstand that synergy is something that is mystical and it’s not up to us to achieve it.

ILP(initial learning program) is a training program offered by TCS(Tata Consultancy Services) for all the freshers in the IT Industry who joined TCS as their first company. I had many wonderful experiences in ILP and it was one the best time of my life.

teamwork
http://www.wildblueberries.com/blog/food-synergy-natures-meal-plan/

 

As the author explained about synergy I got to know that I also once have experienced synergy at the workplace and that too in my ILP. Though we were very new to software making processes at that time but the way we did all the work was really awesome and it was truly a synergistic experience. Too bad that I have never experienced it again in my corporate life after ILP, I believe too much professionalism of the colleagues got in a way since we started thinking too much about ourselves than the project.

The author shares that to create anything big we have to have synergy and also reveals how to achieve it systematically in any environment.

The win-win Strategy

The win-win strategy was the term I often used to hear in corporate meetings and other business places and as the word suggests it simply means winning for the both parties involved in the deal which is pretty straight forward and self-explanatory. What I never heard of was below five other strategies :
  • Win
  • Lose
  • Win-lose
  • Lose-win
  • Lose-lose
So there is basically 6 type of strategies that are possible in a deal and it was an eye opener for me to understand the nature of the people behind this different kind of deals.

In our daily life too every time we converse with the other person, we go through any one of the strategy mentioned above. I got to know, how courage and empathy plays a very important role in a win-win strategy from the book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change”.

A person with low self-respect will never accomplish a win-win deal and probably would lose in his deals every time likewise, a person running low on empathy and respect for the other person would only think about his win and so on.

The reason why so many marriages fail is because the people involved don’t think win-win, it’s that simple. With that said it’s not easy to play win-win every time and it requires a lot of effort to do so.

To let the other person win we have to see things from his point of view which is a difficult thing to do and we normally don’t care too much about the other person which leads to conflict in a long run.

Urgent Vs Important

important urgent

All the things we do every day can be categorized into 4 groups
Things that are
1. Important and urgent,
2. Important but not urgent,
3. Not important but urgent,
4. Not important and not urgent.

In the book  “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change”  the author Stephen Covey,  explains pros and cons of spending time in each of the quadrants and it was shocking to me to realize how 90% of us spend all our time in quadrant 1, 3 and 4 which means we only react to situations.

Quadrant 2 which is not urgent but important represent developing oneself for the better. For example, exercise is not urgent but it’s important everyone knows it’s good for health but very few practice it because it’s not urgent.

All the personal development activities come under “important but not urgent” category (quadrant 2) and we have been ignoring that quadrant for a long time.

The interesting thing is that most of us spend all our of our time without proper planning or thinking and it should not be that way because time is the most important asset we have.

Being Effective

effective-and-efficient

In the book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change” the author Stephen Covey, talks about the phenomenon where managers wish to be efficient with their subordinates and explain that how the strategy backfires.

Being efficient means achieving maximum productivity with minimum wasted effort, and it is a good practice to be efficient with tools and things but treating people like tools does not do any good at work and it eventually backfires.

Being effective means being successful in producing the desired result irrespective of the effort. Being effective takes time and energy. It requires giving attention and respect to the subordinate.

The managers often confuse these two words and try to be efficient with their subordinates perceiving them as a tool, which is a bad practice.

We should try to be effective with people and efficient with things.

Seven Habits

Sometimes while reading a book, we just don’t want to slip anything and we absolutely hate mind wanderings while reading. Every word in a sentence is too important to be missed out and we want to remember everything, like reading for the exams.

I have read very few such articles where the contents of the article are too important to be missed out.

That is how I am feeling while reading the book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change” by Stephen Covey, an American educator, author, businessman, and keynote speaker. He was also Time Magazine’s 25 most influential Americans of 1996. The book is so meaningful and full of knowledge that I am like how can I read this book so that I do not forget anything from it.

There is a reason why so many people in our circle have really messed up lives, that’s because they are living their life, in the wrong way.

This book is not only an informative but also a practical one. It discusses how to deal with our problems on the daily basis(no bullshit).

I am reading the third habit so far, and I can’t wait to finish the book. I would be sharing my learning in subsequent posts, with one habit at a time.