Marriage and Emotions

Me: Finally, today I’ll write about marriage and emotions.

My Inner Voice: Seriously..!!

Me: I mean I will share my learnings from the book “Emotional Intelligence”, and it’s not that I’ll share something out of my butt.

My Inner Voice: Haven’t we discussed this before, just because you have read doesn’t mean you know what it is to be in a marriage and it makes you unqualified for writing about marriages.

Me: Yeah, that’s true ..! But I want to share what I have learned at least it’s better than sharing nothing at all.

My Inner Voice: Alright, but you are on your own and don’t tell me I didn’t warn you about it when people start making fun of you saying that you even write about things you haven’t experienced yet.

Me: Yeah, that’s okay.

I had this conversation in my head every time I want to share something I have read from the book “Emotional Intelligence” on marriages.


Long back I had read the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. He too had discussed various points on marriages on how to make it successful and things we should and shouldn’t do in a marriage. This time the book “Emotional Intelligence” explained why we should and shouldn’t do those things. This book explained what actually happens in the mind of husband or wife. The author explained various cases of troubled marriages and traced it’s starting location. The various trigger points, the various health issues couple go through if their marriage is troubled. I have to tell you it was quite scary, though.

If I only have to share one very crucial point for a marriage which defines its success, I should share the feeling of contempt and disgust and why it is a poison for a marriage. The married lives have been analyzed over decades and these two feelings are the ones which poison the marriages the most. If a couple has this feeling for their spouse they are bound to get a divorce in next 10 years.


Emotions and Health

Emotions and health are very related. For a long period of time, the medical science did not believe this to be true but the recent discoveries show otherwise. It actually sounds obvious but due to lack of concrete data this was believed to be a myth.

Cancer patients who are optimistic in nature tend to live a much longer life than those who are lonely and depressed in spite of getting the exactly similar treatment. A happy state of mind helps the immune system which in turn extends the life expectancy of the patient. Angry people after getting their first heart attack are more prone to the second attack than people with who have their anger controlled. The studies showed that people who have a history of getting angry in general have more chances of getting a heart attack than people who don’t.

The antidote to hostility is to develop a more trusting heart all it takes is the right motivation when people see that their hostility can lead to an early grave they are ready to try.

Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ


These facts actually sound trivial and obvious here but getting a scientific evidence is a huge deal for medical practitioners. Currently, the emotional needs of patients are not met especially in regions like India, Pakistan, and other neighboring countries but if we can make them aware of these little but important facts they would at least be conscious of their thoughts which in turn can improve their lives.

Emotional Intelligence 

#AnIdeaADay #EmotionalIntelligence #BookLearning #DanielGoleman #Focus

Thank God, I finally started the long awaited book, “Emotional Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman. I have read the book, “Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence” by the same author, you can find the video review of the book by clicking here , and you can also find other related stuff by clicking here. The book, “Emotional Intelligence” was first published in 1995 and I am reading its 10th edition so there no question doubting the book.


For the major part of today’s reading the author dedicated the text to establish the ground for the aforementioned topic and how the world has responded to it until now. He shared the number of countries around the world which have accepted the theory of emotional intelligence and have included SEL(Social and Emotional Learning) in children’s curriculum as a result.

To put in layman terms (and I am a layman until now since I only have read one tenth of the book) Emotional Intelligence is basically the person’s ability of self-control, the amount of which he is persistent, and his the ability to motivate himself when he is down. Daniel Goleman says that it is one of the most important factors in anybody’s success. I am looking forward to learning a lot from this book. Stay tuned for more updates.